step one: read as many self-help books as you can find

Today I read Just Checking by Emily Colas. I can't say that I knew her exactly, but she used to wait on me at one of my favorite Ann Arbor bars. Hers is a story of life with OCD and her eventual decision to take medications for it. The ending hit me:

Which brings me to the point of my story. You can mind fuck something until it makes you crazy and it's all wasted energy. Spending so much time in your head. Because, the fact is, no matter what spin you choose, you just don't know. You can't know. So go out, have a good time, make the most of your life. And when you start to doubt yourself, if that happens, do what I do and blame it on the guy with the debilitating skin disease and let it go. Because life's just way too short to bother with such nonsense. Oh, and don't forget to take your medication.

She could have been talking directly to me. I've made myself crazy lately worrying, wondering, trying to decide, trying to collect all of the necessary evidence, etc., etc. In the end it's simply my decision. In the end it's my body, my mind, my life. Why waste it on thoughts that go around and around, the circle never expanding, maybe even narrowing and trapping me in its center.