current status

I've been meaning to get back to this blog for a while. here I am!

things have changed. work/school is going extremely well. the plan is to graduate in August and then on to the next city and the next phase of life. I'll be glad to get to a more natural (for me) climate. I'm single again, since just 4 months ago. and dating. which is weird.

I'm curious about the sense of audience when writing a blog. I dislike the extremely audience-conscious style taken by many writers -- this may be especially true because I feel I'm prone to it. This style often involves making apologies for time away/not posting, throwing in odd little asides meant to indirectly convey your point of view to a presumed-to-be like-minded readership, and trying to sound hip/cool/ironic/something. It also often involves the kind of self-absorbed confessional emotional excursions I'm also prone to (and also dislike).

Somehow tonight I'm sitting around, not concentrating, not doing much of anything. which is bullshit, because I will later regret this time spent in the dead zone.

The dead zone is like an intentional descent into a way of living that squashes me, sucks my energy out, leaves me feeling like I'm squandering my life. and at moments like these, I am.